In this modern era, everywhere we go we’re bombarded by information that lure us to spend more time. We worry that we might not be fast enough to catch up with the dizzying speed at which fads come and go. And when we sit down, we find it hard to resist the endless temptation of doomscrolling through feeds that leave us more anxious than informed.
We find ourselves reacting quickly to everything: a stray comment on social media, a breaking news alert, or the expectations of people we barely know. We lose our own conviction and intention, and are merely pawns of online influencers or our own emotions, which take control of both our decisions and actions.
It’s easy to feel like a leaf caught in a storm.
But what if you could be the moon reflecting in a rushing river, just like the Zen saying goes: 水急不流月 (The water flows fast, but the moon does not flow with it)?
In this post, I will show you how to reclaim your inner calm, stay true to your long-term goals, and stop letting external forces hijack your direction. These come from my personal experience practicing ideas from somatic practices, books like Danshari by Hideko Yamashita and Zen wisdom from Japanese monks and Thich Nhat Hanh (Thay).
We will see that mental stability isn’t about dodging the waves, but rather becoming your own unbreakable anchor. With that, you’ll be able to untangle from others’ influences, shine a light on your internal drama, and become the master of your own ship.
Reclaiming Your “Self-Axis”: The Danshari Way to Select Wisely
I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the Danshari (斷捨離) series of books by Hideko Yamashita, spanning an array of subjects like household organization, career planning, character shaping, yoga, spiritual pursuit and relationships. What sets the Danshari mindset apart from other tidying-up book is the underlying thread of decluttering not just your closet/home, but your mind and life. Specifically, Yamashita proposed the “Now/Self-Axis” model - to evaluate whether an input is relevant and comfortable to me now.
In contrast, most of us operate on an Past/Future+Other-Axis. We keep objects because they were “expensive” (an external standard) or “gifts from a past relationship” (other+past), even if we don’t like them or not using them anymore. We do things because we want others to “rate” us well, or to cling to some nostalgia. We surrender our decision to external values, simply because we don’t know ourselves enough to establish our own core values.
When we lose ourselves and the present time as the core focus, we inevitably fall into the trap of blame and victimization.
Imagine this scenario: Someone invites you to dinner. You don’t want to eat; you just want to chat.
- The Other-Axis Move: You go, you eat too much to please them, and then you secretly resent them for “making” you overeat.
- The Self-Axis Move: You say, “I’d love to chat, but I’m not hungry, so I’ll just have tea while you eat.”
Or, we try to persuade others to “let us be free.” We make a list of excuses to tell our family why we need a break. But the truth is, the person we really need to persuade is ourselves. Our biggest hurdle is not allowing ourselves to do what we want. When we use excuses like “X wants to see me, so I have to go” to justify our actions, we are hiding from our own sovereignty. To be a free person is to be firm: “I want to do this.” When you own your choices, the resentment and the need for external approval vanish.
By reclaiming the opportunity to choose, you stop being a supporting cast member in your own life. You are the director.
Now, Here, Self (即今, 當處, 自己)
Buddhism teaches us that both past and future are illusions. One is a memory, the other a projection. As the revered monk and garden designer Masuno Shunmyo said, the only reality is Right Now, Right Here, This Irreplaceable Self (即今, 當處, 自己). Pour all of you into what’s needed now. I notice that kids get this easily, as they live in the present, ditch anger fast without much calculating thoughts. Adults like us often overthink about the future, or ruminate the past.
To pivot, we can use long-term goals (your north star) and short-term checkpoints for steady progress. Cultivate an abundance mindset to believe in resources behind everything. And practice self-compassion, as we’re often kinder to others than ourselves (look at how many of us are often tormented by our inner critic!). Gift yourself that grace instead.
Look carefully and you will see that this maps to Danshari’s now/self axis, as they all centered at the present “self”. Thay’s navel return grounds you in the tangible body; Danshari filters for my relevance now; Zen’s moon stays unmoved.
Thay also taught that true peace, stability, and happiness can only be found in the present moment through the practice of the Here and Now. According to him,
- Stopping the Run: We spend our lives running toward a future we think holds happiness, missing our actual life.
- The Appointment: Life is available only right now; missing the present moment means missing your appointment with life.
- Returning Home: Mindful breathing and mindful steps bring your mind back to your body in the present.
He summarized it beautifully with this Meditation Verse (Gatha)
I have arrived. I am home.
In the here. In the now.
I am solid. I am free.
In the ultimate I dwell.
The “Input” Filter
To avoid “mental constipation” from info-overload, you need to establish a boundary and filter for what to allow into your space, whether it’s a physical object, a digital notification, a person, or a thought.
Danshari isn’t about ruthless ditching; it’s about scrutinizing choices with a now/I/suitable axis. So it’s less about throwing out trash, but to highlight what you want to keep, showcase, and live with. This is like project planning with the end goal in mind - what exactly do you want the result to be and build towards that. You can ask yourself these questions to filter any “inputs”:
- Is this a current need? (Not “will I need it someday?”)
- Is this relevant to who I am now?
- Is this necessary?
- Is this useful?
- Does this spark anxiety or negative vibe, or joy?
- Does this expand my views and opportunities, or contract and restrict me?
The Ultimate Win: Non-Reaction
In the Buddhist tradition, “winning” isn’t about defeating an opponent. It’s about having no reaction. When you stop reacting, you stop the “mental leaking.” This doesn’t mean being a stone; it means being a mirror. You see the drama, you label the emotion (“Ah, there is anger”), you feel the sensation in your body, and then you let the dust settle.
Use these 5 Stages of Mental Sovereignty from Kusanagi in the book 反応しない練習 - 草薙龍瞬 for mental clarity:
- Pause: Stop the internal theater.
- Delete: Remove the unnecessary noise.
- Stay: Remain in the present moment.
- Rebuild: Focus on right knowledge.
- Transcend: Realize the “drama” was just a mental illusion.
A “Self-Axis” Toolkit
To move from “mental leaking” to “mental mastery,” you don’t need a total life overhaul. You just need to return to your axis. Here is a daily routine and a decision-making checklist to help you stay grounded.
1. The Daily “Return to Axis” Routine
This routine follows the Zen principle of modulating the intangible by taking care of the tangible.
- Morning: Choshin (Tune the Body) Don’t check your phone first. Sit on the edge of your bed, plant your feet, and find your “Dantien” (power center) with deep breathing. A stable body creates a stable mind.
- Daytime: The Navel Anchor When you feel the “waves” of stress or info-overload hitting you, physically drop your focus to your navel. Breathe deep into your trunk. Remind yourself: The branches are swaying, but the trunk is still.
- Evening: Letting the Dust Settle Before sleep, close your eyes. Observe the day’s “mental illusions” (the regrets, the “what-ifs”). Don’t judge them—just watch them like dust settling in a glass of water. Open your eyes and realize what you experienced just now in your mind are just mental illusions. Focus on: Now, here, me.
2. The “Input Filter” Checklist
Before you say “yes” to a task, buy an object, or consume a piece of content, run it through this filter to ensure you aren’t falling into an “Other-Axis” trap.
| The Question | The “Other-Axis” Trap (External) | The “Self-Axis” Truth (Internal) |
|---|---|---|
| Why am I doing this? | Because they expect it / I’ll look bad if I don’t. | Because I want to do this and it aligns with my values. |
| Is this relevant? | It’s a trend / Everyone is talking about it. | It serves my current need or long-term interest. |
| Who is the master? | I feel wronged/resentful but do it anyway. | I am making a free choice and owning the outcome. |
| What is the focus? | Regretting the past or fearing the future. | My focus is on this moment and this space. |
Closing Thoughts: The Power of Mental Stability
Any martial artist will tell you that stability and a firm grounding is the foundation of their art. Similarly, building mental stability is about shifting from reactive drift to grounded mastery. Only when you are firmly anchored will you be able to unleash your power in any situation.
Whether it’s Danshari’s self-axis, Zen’s unmoved moon, or Thay’s navel return, the goal is to establish our own value system, so that we can own our selections, not react, ground in body and breath, scrutinize inputs, and embrace the present.
Remember, it’s not about perfection; as my therapist used to remind me that my everyday action is the practice itself. This recalls the Zen saying: Every step is practice (歩歩是道場 - ほほこれどうじょう). Start small: Filter one input today, breathe deeply, and ask, “Is this my choice?”
Ultimately, you become a grounded, stable force in an ever-changing noisy world, sailing earnestly toward your true north even in the tides!